family matters

It was almost midnight

and he was drinking

she left and he can’t believe she’s really staying gone this time

he is funny and goofy and everyone loves to love him until the rage takes over

day and night, Easter Sunday and severe weather please take cover NOW

there is the drinking and then there is the next day

it all loops like a stupid rerun of your least favorite episode of your least favorite show on the only channel you can pick up in most weather

when cutting the television off isn’t enough, you get up and go outside and stand in the rain, thunder and flash lightning, even the dog and cat are hiding away somewhere,¬† nervously waiting it out

 

he does this

same woman different weekend

until jail time or divine intervention interrupts

everyone else stands by

when the phone rings and it’s late and you haven’t heard from him for a while, you know

this isn’t how you love someone, I say, my voice tiny and mousy, in between ‘that bitch’ and ‘I just don’t understand’, deaf ears

they think I’m crazy, he says, everyone

you’re not crazy, you’re hurt and in a bad place, I whimper

but I can’t help him

 

he’s done everything humanly possible to inspire me to not want to love him…and I love him anyhow

he speaks about our least common factor

I hate him, I feel sorry for him, he says

I do not know him, I say

he doesn’t hear me

I do not save my breath

it is a lost effort, not a lost cause

I insist

I still insist

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